thoughts

Sometimes, late at night, when the whole world is sleeping; surrounded by pure silence except for the radio, certain thoughts come to mind.

These thoughts are not very welcome, but yet slowly, like a silent predator, creep upon you and leave you with no choice but to accept its presence.

And then you wonder, what brought on this onslaught of thoughts? Was there any particular event tt triggered its arrival? Or did it just appear out of nowhere and present itself as a surprise?

One never really knows the true answers to the above questions, unless you look deep within yourself.

And for myself, I know these thoughts of mine are borne out of a fear of failure; fear of history repeating itself once more, and the apprehension that perhaps, the next time round, I may not be able to pull myself together and stand up again.

I may not be able to survive the next defeat, emotionally and psychologically.

Why must the journey of love be one of victory or defeat?

I have no answer to that.

I just know one thing: I don't want to lose this battle. I can't afford to.