dark & stormy

Its cold, wet and a dreary day today; and whether the weather reflects how I feel, or the way I feel has actually influenced the way I see the weather - it doesn't matter.

I'm in a depressing mood today. When I met er-jie for my ABT class today, she told me smthg tt made me feel all warring inside [cue: xin hao luan] Its been almost 7 hours since the end of class and still this moody cloud has refused to move away.

And its ruining my social life.

A friend asked me out for drinks and an offer to lend a shoulder to my depressed soul; and I had accepted. Until we started planning on where to go, and the evil depressed part came out and said "Can we make it another time? A depressed person isn't good company."

I think my friend is losing patience with me - this is the third time in two weeks tt he has asked me out during the weekend, and all three times I've managed to find an excuse not to meet him. Its not that I don't like him - I think he's good company and he makes me laugh. But I really don't want to go out with one guy tonight when all I can think about/of is another guy. Its really not fair to bring one's baggage to another; and I don't want to cheat this friend's feelings.

Oops I think my friend is pissed now - he just replied me with an "okie" when I promised him I'd ask him out when I'm feeling better. *sigh*

I'll be having a Tuk Tuk dinner with the family tomorrow, and hopefully that will cheer me up some. I need to banish this dark depressed mood away before it starts doing real damage - to which I shall not elaborate lest it really comes true.

Sometimes, I just wish I have the power to choose not to listen to certain things that people say.