of farewells and goodbyes

This afternoon, xiao-jin left the human world. Though I was extremely devastated and cried, I eventually realised that it could have been better this way. Ever since his respiratory infection, xiao-jin was never quite the same as before. He would eat, but he was also lethargic and seldom moved, save to bite his food.

And when early afternoon I saw tt he was even too weak to resist when I turned him upside down, I tucked him between two layers of tissue, and whispered, with tears in my eyes and my throat all choked up,

"xiao-jin, I know you tried to hold on for me, and I know you tried your best, but maybe.. maybe its time for you to let go, and move on to wu-gui heaven. You won't have to suffer anymore. And no matter what, even though I only had you for 3 mths, I still love you."

Those were the last words I said and tt xiao-jin heard. When I stepped out of the shower, he was already gone. His body was limp, his limbs hanging by his side.

I picked up the phone and dialled the number from memory.

"honey?...." was all I could muster, before I broke down. I felt tt it could have been my fault - if I had brought xiao-jin to the vet, perhaps he could have been saved. If I had been more perservering in keeping him in warm water, perhaps he would have recovered. If I had loved him more, perhaps he would have held on longer.

'If' and 'perhaps' - don't we all have such regrets?

Chong rushed down upon hearing me break down, and together, we buried xiao-jin under the same spot where Little Tort was laid to rest previously. I willed myself not to cry, because I knew it hurt Chong to see me hurting so bad. He held me in his arms, and in his tight embrace, I felt comforted.

And I know xiao-jin has gone on to a happier place, with no sickness and no sadness.

R.I.P. Xiao-Jin

18th Feb 2007 - 23rd May 2007

You will be missed

xiao-jin is sick

I am sick. Down with a respiratory infection tt makes me gasp for breath and blow bubbles out from my nose. Its really very xing-ku when tt happens, and Jie-jie said tt its like when she had asthma when she was young.

I feel very very uncomfortable, and Jie-jie is trying her best to make me feel better - by soaking me in hot water and carrying me so tt I can get some of her heat.

I know tt she is very worried. In fact, I think tt Jie-jie might bring me to the vet if I don't get better, or if I continue gasping. But then Jie-jie's parents think its a waste of money to bring a little terrapin like me to the vet and spend so much money on such a small thing. *cries* but I am still a living thing, and I want to stay alive!
[Jie-jie: don't care them ok, if you don't get well I'll bring you to the vet, even if it means skipping class and going to Jalan Kayu]

I love Jie-jie, and I will try to stay strong for her. Jie-jie also prayed for me, and I hope her prayers work, and tt I'll feel better tomorrow.

Adventures Part I

Hallo! I'm sure all of you know me by now, considering that Jie-jie had previously featured me in an entry.

Anyway, Jie-jie is evil! Her intentions for buying me aren't very al-tru-istic [my spelling isn't v good] - she bought me cos she thought tt I didn't have any red and tt I was special. But then I've proven her wrong *evil laughter* cos now some red has appeared on my sides!

And Jie-jie isn't very happy abt tt.
[Jj: oui, I never said tt okie! I just said tt you cheated my feelings! Hrmphh]

This Jie-jie is so wu-liao; tt day she was bored out of her wits doing the prag essay, and so she decided to take me out for some fun! She wanted me to pose as her model while she practiced her photography skills; and since I was sick of staring at the four plastic walls of my tank, I graciously gave her permission to take snapshots of me. Aren't I pretty!

Here I am on my mandarin orange planet! whee... I am king of the planet! See my haughty look! But then the orange was so so cold *brr* so I scrambled off before Jie-jie could take more pics. She grumbled, but I'll see how she'll like being placed on a block of ice!

Then Jie-jie placed me on her lappy keyboard! This wasn't much better, cos there were tiny ridges between the keys of the board plus there was a lot of dust! Jie-jie must be very lazy, not to clean her keyboard regularly.
[Jj: oui, you think cleaning a laptop's keyboard is very easy? You try cleaning it then you'll know okie!]

After tt dusty keyboard, I decided that I wanted to explore... but Jie-jie got tired of making sure I wasn't falling off the table edges in my explorations, and so she carried me home *pouts* That ended my first adventure, but stay tuned for more! Hee I think I make a fantastic model!