just an update

It's been ages and this space has been gathering dust.

Turns out that it wasn't gastric pain or acids - it was a gallstone in my gall bladder that was causing me all the pain and discomfort. Had to undergo surgery for the first time in my life; had to be warded; had to lose my dignity when I puked as a side effect from the GA and the nurse changed me because I was in so much pain I couldn't move; had to be put on drip.. you get the idea. It wasn't a pleasant experience - no surgery wld ever be - but I am relieved that the gallstone is now OUT and EXPELLED from within me.

So far so good - a month plus has gone by and I've not had any pain. Hope it shall stay this way!

Next big thing - the Fiance has left for Dallas. It's been a month or so since his departure and it's still really hard to get used to him not being around for me 24/7. I went up to visit for abt 2 weeks but really, how can 2 weeks compare to the time tt we're apart? Long distance relationships are really hard. Well, no one has said tt it was easy, but still, it's difficult having to adjust.

I can't sms him and expect him to reply me asap. He doesn't sms me at all.
I can't pick up the phone to just call him to tell him smthg; to ask him smthg; or just to talk and catch up at the end of the day. Phone bills are way too expensive to do that.
I can't have him come sleep over and hug me to sleep and wake up beside me.
I can't hear his voice daily.

All I contend with is a daily email to each other; and a weekly phone call.

Damn it I wish I didn't feel so... lonesome, but I do. I'm so used to his presence the silence is deafening at times.
And it doesn't help that sometimes, my best friends don't put in the effort to make me feel better. To be honest I'm feeling bitter about this issue. But I try to remind myself that at the end of the day, friends are still just.. friends. That's all. They're not family. And then I try to comfort myself with tt idea.

I'm really quite exhausted. Even though the new year is coming, I don't feel rejuvenated. I just want to occupy myself with work and hope that time will fly past me. The first countdown will be till March; then May; then August.

And then we can finally be reunited, for good. And living a honeymoon in the States. That's the only thing tt is sustaining me through this long distance relationship.