depression is not for me

In today's Medications class, we discussed clinical depression - the signs/symptoms as well as non-pharmaecological/pharmaecological therapy available. Looking at the various signs that points one to be suffering from depression, I realized that myself, too, had suffered a bout of depression. After the break-up with the Ex, I had lapsed into:

- general feeling of sadness;
- weight loss and decrease in appetite [I cld survive the whole day on just a packet of instant noodles, how scary is tt]
- insomnia [my bedtime shifted from 12+ to 2am]
- a feeling of worthlessness
- difficulty in concentrating/thinking [in studies, luckily not for driving lessons!]

And these symptoms lasted for more than two weeks, which thus disgnoses me as having suffered from clinical depression. The only symptom that I didn't "suffer" from was lack of energy - in fact, I was quite the total opposite, being crazy enough to go running 5 days a week when everyone knows how much I hate running.

It came to a point when I really thought I shld be seeking some form of help; and I was thinking of calling the SOS hotline, to speak to someone annoymous and non-judgmental. Although I appeared to be alright in the company of friends in school, when I came home, all I did was run, starve myself, watch vcds and sleep. Not very healthy, physically and mentally.

Fortunately, I came out of it without having to resort to psychological help. If I had to seek help, I think my parents wld have wanted to hunt the Ex down to give him a good scolding. Haha. As to the event tt brought me out of it, I think it was the night I posed the fateful question to the Ex, asking if he was already in another relationship.

I remember blogging abt "to ask or not to ask", and in retrospect it was a good decision. Impulsive, perhaps, but a smart decision in the long run. It was after hearing the answer to my question that shook me slightly out of it, and made me realize tt there was no way things could go back to the way it was, and thus I moved on.

Another positive thing that came out of this was losing 5kg in 2 months. I feel so much healthier and prettier [haha] now tt I've managed to reach my first aim. I wld love to lose more, but I also realize that it needs to be done in more healthy ways, so I shall work towards that (:

On another note, an impulse made me message Uncle Foolish yesterday to ask if he wanted to meet me for hot chocolate/dinner; and surprisingly, he agreed! [knowing what an anti-social he claims to be] It was a good meeting, in my opinion, after having shared so many thoughts about our personal lives in the past 2 months. I wasn't traumatised, as he claimed I wld most probably be -_-, and I am still on talking terms with him. Haha.

Now I shall look forward to the triple date this saturday - it shld be the highlight of my week, considering the test tomorrow, the Lexi paper due on Monday and DOA paper on Friday. [yucks, double yucks and triple yucks]

Life seems to be quite ok at this moment, with the exception of stress from school. New life, new body, new friends, I shall be content and not ask for more (:

So be happy for me too! Hee.