-thoughts-

This afternoon, I read the sweetest and most touching break-up story ever between two people; and it touched me so much that I teared somewhere in the first one-third of the entry. Not surprisingly, it was a blog tt I was reading - me being the voyuer tt I am when it comes to blog-reading.

And the saddest thing was - the two people in the relationship were still in love with one another when they decided to part. And the reason for their break-up was for religious reasons; they were at "different paths on the same religion". They met up for a 'closure talk' with a certain time frame limit for them to sort out their issues. It must have been both bittersweet and heart-wrenching, to be in the company of someone you know you will never be able to hold in your arms ever again from that moment on after you've parted ways.

That's why I stand on the side of once-parted-never-friends argument. I don't think I can face the prospect of being just-friends with a guy whom I've loved before and shared my deepest thoughts with. If we meet, it'll only bring up the memories: both good and bad. Perhaps such a situation is faced only when you can't let go of the person and the memories; but are you strong enough to risk facing the one whom you've loved so much and spent so much time with and not have any emotions besides those of friendship flowing through you?

Maybe I'm not strong enough then. I would not want to risk the possibility of feeling the anguish and pain if I had to meet my ex-boyfriend for a cup of coffee or a movie. And I do admire those who can, naturally :)

I've never stayed friends with any of my ex-es. Never had the inclination to. Maybe cos I never had any deep feelings for either of them. But how do I stop the urge to just msg you just for you to msg me back; how do I stop my fingers from pressing your number just to hear you say "hallo" on the other line - and I don't even have to dial your number cos you're always on my Last Called list. Just to ask how your day was, what stuff you're busy with; small talk to mask the pain that I feel.

Do you feel the pain I'm in? Do you feel the same?

The saddest thing about letting go must be for him to say 'take good care of yourself, alright?'; let a tear drift down his face...but yet still turn and walk away. Away from you, from your pain and tears and, most of all, away from your life..And for you to never be in his embrace ever again.

-tears a little-

How someone's writings can invoke so much thoughts and emotions in me. It has been too long.